aggy>:l

ok so ii havent been on this thing in a min because ii was honestly tired of doing it from my blackberry, but ii am happy to announce that ii have my laptop back ( ive had it back for a lil more than a month now but watever) hoewever my internet service is being a world class DICK so my post will still be fw and far between.

anywho... how yall been ... ive been a mix of things any emotion u can possibly have ive had it in the last 2 or 3 months. but tonights current emotion is aggy partially because of my MOTHER BITCHING MY EAR OFF AS ii TYPE but idk ii jus been in one aggy ass mood. ii have had one thing that makes me happy and thats Khalid ii usually try to refrain from using peoples names on this just because but ii really dnt care if he dnt like it ill take it down .... but yea blah blah blah ii didnt really have much to say ii just felt like typing fast to release some anger yall can get the full details when my freaking wireless connection decides to work or my parents arent walkin by the computer screen every 2 seconds cuz ii got sum stuff to tel yall but yea... im waiting for him to call me back and then ii can head to my bed which ii have missed oo so much n fall asleep to the sound of his snores till later

...Thats the way the cookie crumbles :)>:l

detective cookie on the case

Ok I've been having these strange sleeping cycles lately where ii wake up around 6 to do a blog then knock out until 12 ... :/ oo well.

I was bored the other day so ii got 2 thinking about the careers ii should persue and ii was like heyyyy ii should be a celebrity detective or something bc I'm strange n come up with things that (ii think) nobody else thinks of. For instance the anna nicole ( Lord rest her soul ) case. I personally believe tht Larry Kid had a lot to do with her fate ... Nothing new ii know. But wait! I have my own take on it, here's what I think happened; I believe that Larry (said like lisa from sister sister) is guilty of greed this man knew what he was doing. He was after annas money however he couldn't go about it any ole way ... He couldn't ”dispose” of her 1st bc her son would fight 4 her estate n the baby nd all that great stuff sooo he decided to silently murder the boy at the happiest time of the womans life. Murderin her grown child served a purpose other than the obvious it would be easy to spin a story on how "unstable" she was bc of her sons death. Of course he couldn't "get rid " of her too soon because ppl could catch on so he waited a few months just enough for the world to see how much she adored her precious ( and might ii add gorgeous) baby girl and sadly for the media to speculate her goin back to her old ways so to speak. Now in m wording ( ii really dnt like that word) ms smith "he" knew that wasn't the end of this road there of course would be a custody battle for the baby in which he would duke it out with the other gentleman to prove he was in fact the one who donated 50% of her chromosomes ( because ii personally believe the other man had the childs best intrest at heart). Now this man won the custody battle which means he won her money pretty much right? Well ii believe there is a little more to it. I believe he will xploit that girl til her bones run dry. You might say noooo he wouldn't but think about it he's only going to do it every once in a while because he's going to want her to have a "normal life" but as she gets older ii have a feeling he gunna pull a chris jenner/ spencer pratt and tip off the paps as to where sweetie is having her sweet 16 and she's gonna become a big deal because let's face it the child looks exactly like her mama. All of a sudden she's gunna wanna be an actress or a singer then she's guna pose 4 playboy in the same style her mama did n its gunna be for the 25th anii of her mothers untimely death. And guess who will be her manager through all of this ... THA PAPPY! So this man is cakin it for years too come. I dnt wanna say wat ii think will happen after that because ii do belive in speaking things into being and ii dnt wish bad things on peoples children but thts wat ii believe happened and will happen for years too come smh.

I have my other uninvestigated theories concerning other famous ppl (coughcough chrisbrownrihanna coughcough) but ill get into those later because my blog energy tank just hit empty n I'm sleepy again. But just as a disclaimer this is completely my opinion ii dnt need any one barking at me at any point ii dnt tke to kindly to being spoken down too ... Anywho toodles



...And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):).

did yuh miss me?

Cuz ii missed youuuuuuu

I've been gone 4 a little bc of my sans laptop situation. Still hve no laptop but I've been negletin yall 4 too long :(.


A lot has happened since my last blog so ill jus give an update. As far as my 40lbs in 40days challenge ii quit :/. Now honestlii ii quit bc ii got bored with it but ii did loose some weight n I'm back at a comfertable place with my body. I've never been a small girl n ii have no desire 2 b one. Ummm as far as personal goin ons thts all tht the cookie needs to know. As usual a few trendin topics n ppl on twitter pissed me off. Jus a psa to ladies on twitter when you retweet everything that guys say about u it makes you look super shallow its annoyin and unneccesary and will quickly get your behind unfollowed by moi. Self confidence is the sexiest thing u can put on b4 u leave ur house however its like a body spray too much becomes unbearable n no one wants too be around you.
Another thing ii noticed on twitter is a plethora of hypocrites ... honestly I'm not gunna address specifics but ii will say be leary of people who switch best freinds like panties they looooove 2 start shit they either 1. Can't finish or 2. Can't handle once it comes back to bite em in the arse. Also ii notice this person who justified the fact that they were no longer my friend bc ii "changed" and they disliked certain folk n all that xtra hooplah, is now doin they same xact shit they bashed me n tried to make me feel like shizzle for ... Hmmmm -no comment-. ii noticed tht a lot of the ppl who did tht too me r now in similar stages of their social n personal lifes that ii was in... Sorry that responsibilities and my enviornment gave me the oppourtunity to actually grow up (while a little faster than some) normally n with out being stunted. ii feel like I'm goin to do a blog with personal ”attacks” so to speak real soon cuz subliminal ish aiint my forte'. Until such time iim gunna go back to sleep cuz I'm tired :/ good night/morning :).




...And that's the way the cookie crumbles.:):).

The extra medium man with 3 first names

So this blog is about Leonard! [Extramedium90.blogspot.com] :) ( the crowd goes wild)

Leonard is a dude tht ii met in May 2008 at my prom. However our history doesn't start until August of 08. We went to college together and ii had a little crush on him. One day while skippin the most boring English class on earth (-__-) me and leonard stood outside the C building of our skool tlking and idk how it happened but we kissed ( one of the best kisses I've evr had might ii add) but yea ... We kissed . That night had to have been one of the most fun nights of my life ( thank God for unlimited metro cards) e went from qcc to shadyville to rufus king manor back to shadyville and honestly it was one of the most fun nights of my life. But tragedy soon ensued :(. Leonard crushed my spirit after we went to a movie and we stopped talkin all together. Now for sum reason this man thought ii hated him ( wasn't true !) But in may he hit me back up n our friendship just blossomed from there :). Leonard has become one of my best friends and he is the ONLY male ii talked to when ii feel like I'm on the brink of just throwing in the towel on this game called life. In these few short months I feel as though ii gained a true friend who will completely tell it like it is but still have my feelings in mind. Leonard ur oonnnee strange cookie who cannot keep ur behind still ( unless it rains lmao ) n ii think u look nutz wen u randomly dance in hallways but ii wouldn't have u any other way :) ii love u man with 3 first names :)

... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):).

dont eat my belly button

This blog is dedicated to my snuggumz (kinda) ( he's 3 relax) but for sum reasons he ran across my mind and iim thinkin man my boobskies about to turn 4 nxt thing ii know hell be 16 then hell be 30 and ii will me ... Older than dirt :(.
But ii was watchin a video ii have of him from a few weeks ago with him screamin dnt eat my belly button and ii was thinkin " man now ii know how daddy feels" and it must be worst for him cuz I'm actually his child versus snuggumz jus being a baby from my church. I never really caught on 100% when people told me ii will always be daddys little girl. But as ii get older ii see that he calls me by my childhood pet names more.
He won't let me do allot of things bc he doesn't want me to grow up and ii dnt mean that in a bad way but he's just always gunna see me as the little bowl legged girl with the big eyes that used to always run behind him just as to me boobskie will always be the baby boy screamin "don't eat my belly button !" ... Don't worry daddy I'm still slightly bowlegged with big eyes I'm just slightly taller and now ii onlii run behind u for money and even though ii dnt express it ii love u the same :).

... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):)

Well Well Well ...

Hey Luz
Dam ii haven't posted in like a week ... ii have quite a bit to talk about mostly randomness...

Soooo on friday ii didn't do much but it was pretty much the start to a terrible weekend (concerning my diet) but ii spent sum time wit him :)
Saturday aunty paulette came up 2 ny ( yaaaayy) ii love when aunty paulette comes up here she's hilarious
Sunday was deloris' bridal shower and we went to my aunts house seen uncle Gary my cousins Shannon graham niki and Shana
And Monday wweeehhhh lawwd ( this is wat ii really wanted to talk about ) was West Indian Pride Parade ( Jamaica Stand Up ) and as usual ii went wit my bestest. Every year on Eastern Parkway in BK they have labor day parade and it is POPPIN this is the second peaceful year in a row might ii add. But its basically a day where every island comes together and jus celebrates with food costumes and eastern parkway is a rainbow coalition of flags its beautiful :) ii love my Jamaican culture :).
I won't even speak on the hot messes since ii had fun.
Anywhooooo nxt topic


I seen this dum behind topic on twitter today #thickchicks and #skinnychicks these trendin topics PISSED ME OFF not because of what they were but because of what people where saying. It offended me its as if people think that the more u weigh the less feelins u hve. I dnt care what anyone says but even a 350 pound woman doesn't want to hear that she's fat. Some of those things said where so hurtful and ii took a personal offense to them. What people need to realize is that words hurt and sometimes your words can leave more of a scar than a physical beat down could ever. For the first ( and last ) time ii have to agree with my hs dean who said " sticks and stone may break my bones but words can break my heart " and it breaks my heart to know there are millions of beautiful girls leanin over there toilet seats because of a simple 3 letter word and that someone's daughter is laying 6 feet under bc she starved herself to a point of no return all because of WORDS. Ladies n Gents get your life together no ones tellin u that your gf has to b a size 2 or a size 20 to each is own but there is absolutely no need to down a specific body type bc its not particularly attractive to you. Just think one day it might be your daughter , sister , niece, mother , etc. on the recieving end of the same harsh words that ur dishing out now. Jus a little food for thought.


... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):).

progess report !

Well chickadees its been 10 days since ii started my challenge and though ii highly doubt that ii lost 10 pounds ii am loosing weight and ii feel the change in my body. For instance my back and my butt dnt touch any more ( woop woop ... Tmi ? ... Oo sorry o well =/)
I also wanted to say that ii see the comments ii just can't reply from my blackberry but thank you :). But concerning the weight challenge ill do a progess report every 10 days. Tata for now :).


... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):).

3 AM

So its 3am and ii can't sleep. I'm supposed to go jogging with tene in the morning and do my hair and go with christine to get her peircing in the am ... God give me the strength cause ii can't do it on my own not on 3 hours of sleep atleast.

But back to my not being able to sleepness. I have conditioned myself to talk to this special person in my life every night b4 ii go 2 bed and tonight ii didn't even get a text from him :'(.
Just because ii can't sleep ill tell yall about him. Well I've know him for almost 4 years and we kind of have this up and upper type of relationship. There is something so undeniably special about him its crazy. My freinds all have their own opinions formed about him but for once ii really don't care what anyone has to say about him because they don't know him the way ii do.
He is one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. At the same time that I'm talking him up I have to admitt his not so goods. He does have a tad bit of a record for being a ladies man and ... That's pretty much it. Honestly ii find myself over analising things ii used to c on his page and things people tell me about him and honest to God I've spent nights bawling over him ( though I'd never tell him) but something just draws me back , like ii can't leave him alone. Our chemistry is sooo crazy real its bananas. Now neither one of us claims eachother technically but he's the only guy ii talk to / am involved with because honestly ii don't c or think about anyone else and it would just b a waste of time to talk to anyone else because I'd never be there my minds is just always on him. He knows how ii feel about him and ii know how he feels about me and that's all ii need. I'm not looking for anyones approval or thoughts on the situation. Am ii 100% happy with where me and him are at ? No. But ii can tell you I'm pretty dam close. This man is the only guy who ii can truley say that ii love and ii know that he will ALWAYS be a part of my life no matter what even if its not in a romantic way because well ... He's just that dam special. Welp ii think ii can go to sleep now with a smile on my face :). Yo dead ass... He knows ii don't even have to say it... Its euphoric ii wish this feelin would never end.


...And that's the way the cookie crumbles .:):).

Ps sorry for the typos ... It is 3 am n today was sooo the best day of my life bc willie of day26 tweeted me yes HE tweeted ME aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (ok I'm done ) :D.

Dudez n Dudettez

Now tenizzy ashbizzy wants me to talk about dude ... She's wanted me to talk about them for a lil bit now but ii just "felt" the topic today.

Now to keep it fair for everything flaw about guys I'm goin to do an equally stupid flaw of women. Sooo here we gooooo.


Now what I've noticed lately with men (boys) this no cuffin situation. Therz songs about it ( gimme 20 dollaz )and guys are claimin this is why they don't claim the girl who have been down for them since day one. This is dumb to say the least. Why can't everyone do there own thing. Instead of everyone being their own pwerson we have a bunch monkey see monkey do boys who won't do anything tht their boys or crew aiint doin.
Now don't get me wrong relationships aren't for everyone however hanging the one you love on a string isn't wats poppin either. Now on the flip side ladies wen we choose to "hold down" these guys we must step back and evaluate the situation. If yóu been riding for him for umteenth years and therz no title , commitment or even a flippin promise ring u need to get a move on who knows u going away might just give him that extra push to take the long over due next step.

Another thing in the not kool department is when you guys instead of just telling your girl .. You know ii don't really feel the same about you anymore... You guys go to great lengths to treat your lady freind like a bowl of POO! Do ii even need to express how uncool this is ... Didn't think ii did.
Now back to the flip side , ladies learn when to take a hint , he's not havin a bad day and that's not his way of saying ii love you its his way of sayin eff you go away.

There's plenty other thing ii could talk about but quite franklii ii forgot ii was typin this and its now 3 am (12 hours later) and ii lost the mojo for this topic.
N sadly

... That's the way the cookie crumbles. :):).

know your self worth

I'd like to start this off by saying ii hate my siblings for breaking my laptop -_-.
Ok now that I've gotten that outta the way on to my topic. Now ii chose to bypass tenes topic because I'm still not 100% on what ii want to say ... Just haven't caught the vibe for it yet. However this one just struck me ( mainly because someone pissed me off).

I have an ex ( that will remain nameless for now ) that ii have knbown for some years now. We have a lot of history together I had a lot of love for him but I never was in love. The first time me and him went out so to speak my mother didn't like him and I fought and argued even stopped talkin to my mother all for him. Me and him must have dated on about 3 different occasions but none of them ever lasted for more than 6 weeks tops. Everytime we would break up we would loose contact for a little bit then hed find me n history would repeat it self again.
Except for the last two times. When I was a fresgie in college me and brandon got into a ight because of an away message ii put up ( yes.-_- an away message) he felt it was a personal attack and ii insulted his girlfriend n blah blah blah ... U know the deal. But in the end he blocked me . O wewll ii really didn't care. Now next semester he hits me up (-_-) and says he just wants to hang out so ii oblige. So we take a trip to the mall and go out for dinner ... All is well until we back to my house then the idiot comes out again (smh) and he starts asking for sex ( as if paying for his broke asses dinner wasn't enough ) so iim tellin him no and he's asking why so ii explain to him ii personally am choosing not to have with anyone until I'm in a committed monogomous relationship. Like every other guy does when ii say that he begins to tell me y he think ii should make him abn exception ( like ii really care to hear his rebutal who said this was up 4 discussion ) but any how he tries and faild then disappears wwhich to me proves his motives. Now he's trying again he's just takin a more subtle approach. Now I'm not goin to lie ii dnt always obey myrule however ii canyt be swindled into breaking it its been brokrn on my own account. But ii was thinking to myself if ii have confidence in myself and really stick to my rule ii will exude that self confidence and that attitude that let's others know what ii stand for and that I'm no joke. This dude only comes around for one thing and one thing only so I've decided to put an end it to it. I know my self worth and I refuse to let some one back into my life who doesn't :).


... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):)

yo ho ho and a bottle of water

Hey guys n gals
ii have some bad news :(
ii stopped my 14 day detox :(
Good news is my challenge is still on :D
But yea ... Tene wants me to talk about guys but until she gets back to me with specifics that topic is on pause.
So yea not much of a cookie crmbing as of now but ii do promise to get back to it tonight love :-* hugs and kisses.

... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):)

Ps if u have a topic for me send it on twitter :)

a jiggalin baby

* this blog is all over the place because my grandmother is ramblin about everything under the sun and ii dnt want to be rude and walk away but she is SERIOUSLY throwing me off



Soooo back on the topic of body image ...

If you saw my profile you know I'm from the queens long island area.
Now ii very rarely stay in my heavily secluded and boring area of L.I, more often than not you will find me in queens or brooklyn.
Now if your from queens you know about the ave.aka Jamaica Avenue.
Just to give you a little background on the ave, (the area I'm talking about) its about 9 or 10 blocks of nail salons hair salons random street vendors fast food places A LOT of clothing stores (mostly unknown) and just alotta other random bull shavitz.
But what's the bee's knees' about the ave ... Wweeeeeeellllll ill tell yuh :).
THE PEOPLE !
Jamaica avenue breeds a certain pedigre of people most of whom are hot steamin funky messes
Now in high school you couldn't tell me and my friends nothing. We were ALWAYS on the ave ( ave bumz in the worst way smh)
However starting with my senior year ii tried my hardest to avoid tht horrific place.
The other day me and my bestest christine decided we wanted to go to the free beach (rockaway).
This unfourtunately meant ii had to walk down the ave to catch the train ( lawd ghud plz protect mi sooouuulll ).
Sadly ii saw the same bummy boyz that were sooo cute to me a few years back doin the same xact thing they had been doing years before ( nikes jordans air forces guccis ! ... My thoughts;Umm excuse me mister where exactly is your store ? )
But tis not the stagnent boys ii speak of today noooo it is THE BIG BODIED FEMALES WHO FEEL IT IS OK TO SHOW THERE BOOTY TOOTING WAYS IN PUBLIC!
I'd like to say darn all you nasty women to heck ! Now there is nothing wrong with loving your big body cuz Lord knows ii love mine but gracious cookies please love you self in the right sized clothing.
Stop wearing a 10 when you know you needed an 18 ( I dnt care if it was the only one left and you really liked it and it was 95% off put it down in the name of the LORD!)
I seen 2 particular cases that sent me to hell on the 1252pm express train with no ac.
Case #1 this big ting apparentlii watched E! News a few nights ago about how to make your own cut off jeans deconstructed jeans and bleached (acid washed) jeans and this gyal decided to combine them all together.
That's mistake number 1 ( ur doin way too much ma ). Now apparentlii she under estimated the girth of her jello thigh and length of her inseam and took cut off to a whole nother level ( weehhh lawwd).
The acidcutdeconstruc jeans she made were not even eastern parkway on labor day ( bk ppl n west indian from ny know what ii mean) appropriate.
Mistake number 2 is that SHES OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!
No.
Nononononono
NO!
I'm not gunna even go any further ( ooo yea there were fish net stockings a matchin denim vest pleather boots a cap n a $2 tee involved)
Ok now I'm really none with her -_-.

Case number #2 is a case that hurts my heart because this young lady was very pretty aparently she was robbed ( cuz no one wit sense would do this purposelii ii hope) for her pants.
Yes ... Her pants.shorty was outside with no pants on smh ( po lil tink tink ).
It was bad to the point tht the same bummy men who holla as long as u have a vagina and atleast one stable boob were tellin her ... Its not that bad boo boo

I tell you all of this to say ... Install full length mirrors on the door that you use to leave your house
It would really make the world a better place. Like my cousin ayana( ilovehimlikeafatkidlovescake.blogspot.com pastrygirl.blogspot.com) says "be classy not trashy and showing all the ass-y".
Ladies let's be comfertable in our skin but let's keep it rated g for the public therz children around. Smh.

...And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):)

Don't Let Go its Your Show

N ALL I WANNA DO IS COSTAR


So today is my ultimate favorite groups 2 year anniversary wooooohoooooo
Day 26 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now ii love these guys LOVE! THEM! And ii jus wanted to say happy anniversarbirthdate
What kind of uber fan would ii be if ii didn't ggarrsshh :)


So again too Will ( my freakin favoritest sexy bodied scrumcious yum yum yum eat it all up half on a baby member of the group)
Que, Mike ( my second favorite cuz he's adorable) Robert and Brian. Happy 2 years as being Day 26 keep up the amazing work and keep flooring the haters with the crazy sexy cool vocals muahzzz

... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):)



Ima put it on her imma imma put it on her *singing*


Ps if anyone can tell me how to get my picture up through my blackberry that would be wondiferous thannxxxx :).

Tenizzy Ashbizzy

So ii asked on twitter this am what ii should talk about next on (duhn duhn duhn) The crumbly cookie :) and of course @mizz_nay responded (follow her plz).
She said ii should write one about her so ... What the hey iill do one about tene.

So ii met tene at freshman orientation at The Mary Louis Academy we were in the same homeroom, Fm 5 woohooo lol we didn't xactlii instantlii become freinds but we were kool we spoke durin mornin hmroom but nuffin too much.
Now sophomore the universes aligned n put me n tene in a but load of classes together ( and ii must say you made my chem labs much more bearable miss ).
This is the year me an tenes freind ship bloomed. I'm gunna skip junior year bc ii honestlii don't remember it (=/) and skip straight to senior year.
Senior year the universes were yet agen aligned bc me and tene again had classes n frees ( eh hmm unscheduleds ) together.
We bull shitted thru gym along with noelle n christine. But honestlii what ii remember the most is that we just couldn't keep our asses outta trouble ii swear trouble looked for her n my big mouth was always there to defend.
One of the memories ii have wit tene is ... The foyer incident we not gunna get into wat happened bc ii vow to be a happy person. But she deff knew from tht insident if she aint noe b4 that ii had her back 110%.
Everything thing else that year was pretty kool and mellow ( hahahhahah rotf ii jus remembered the miss wiginfeld shit wen she yoked u up on the wall ... Ok sorry iim back).
We started college together at the great qcc (blehh) and boy did that produce nothing but drama (niggas tryna split us up nay !). I went from tene being my left hand mans ( cuz u never saw us w/o eachother on campus) to me at one point wanting to kill her
But alla tht is petty drama that ii won't even rehash.
All jokes aside tene is one of the best freinds I've ever had and can honestly say that because the amount of times people have tried to split us up don't make no cotton pickin' sense. Me and tene always find a way back to each other and we kinda telepathically know when one of us is pissed at the other.
Its because of her that ii met one of my most amazing and silly freinds leonard (extramedium90.blogspot.com)
And its because of her ii haven't committed murder. All in all tene knows she has me no matter what and no body is ever gunna change that.

Word to the wise when you have good freinds hold on tight always get to the root of a problem your having because you just might loose the most amazing person on earth. I'm glad ii never lost you tene. I love you.


... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :'):) ( happy tears)

(wo)man in the mirror

Well goodmorning loves :)

First ii want to say thank u for the twitter love I've been gettin from various people (and a few organizations believe it or not =D)
Its very much appriciated guys n gyals :-* besos.

Anywho this morning ii wanted to talk about body image. Why? Because my little sister came up to me and told me she needs to go on a diet with me.
Those of you who know kaila know that this littlw girl is no ones type of fat. Those of yoou who don't ill discribe her. My little sister ( who is 8 btw ) is about 4 foot 5 and weighs no more than 60 lbs she's very active ( too active) and she wears a xs or s dependin oin the brand of clothes.
Now the fact that my baby sister wants to diet with me maybe cute to some people cuz your like "awwww she wants to be like her big sister" NEGATIVE ! She might want to be like me in some aspects but not this one.
Unfourtunately my little sister has a very distorted veiw of reality when it come to her body image as do many other FEMALES.
(Nice lil segway right right lol)

I have never been small a day in my life. Never wore a size 6 infact the last time ii wore a single digit size ii must have been in the 5th grade. I loved myself I was very comfertable in my skin, however when ii got into 4th grade my father started pushing excercise on me ... ii didn't want to do it AT ALL. I thought ii was fine the way ii was.
Then as I got a little older my dr (Dr. Fink and Dr. Obselom [sp?]) Started pressing me about my weight. I didn't see the problem yea ii was a little thicker than some of the other girls ii had more curves ( ii had a c cup by 6th grade ) but ii could run around and more than keep up with them in the school yard.
I could go year by year about how ii gained weight but it all ends the same ... I felt great. But as ii entered hs ( The Mary Louis Academy thank you :) ) ii noticed there were girls with boobs just as big as mine hips just as wide and buts jus as big BUT super super flat stomachs and much smaller thighs than mine.
This is where my battle with body image began. In my 4 years of hs ii was anorexic, ii was buliemic, ii took diet pills , you name it ii tried it. I knew it wasn't healthy but ii wanted to b one of those girls that guys tried to talk to EVERYWHERE ii went.
I wasn't satisfied with being average ii wanted my appearance to blow minds.
Now I'm not going to blame society for my "issues" however ii think it plays an important role in young girls self esteem.
When all our little girls have to veiw as beauty is a size 2 woman and a super slim girl they are conditioned to believe that that is the ideal idea of beauty.
Now don't get me wrong there is nothing with being slim especially if you are natuarally that way but ii truly believe that we need females of different body types and sizes to accurately represent beauty.
Now on the flip side I'm not sayin to be huge and odious n rotound bc we all know that there is a point where the fat becomes unhealthy.
But if we as a society would find a healthy balance between what they deem as fat and beautiful we could eliminate a lot of the issues both health wise n mental that a lot of women n girls have.
An 8 year old girl should not be upset because she does not look like miley cyrus just as a woman should not be upset because she doesn't look like hiedi klum or niki minaj. Honestlii don't you think it would be a really boring world if we all looked alike.
Today ii pose a challenge for everyone to be happy with the man or woman in the mirror and for us to teach our children that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes (and complections) and its ok to be different in that sense
Ill be back later ii need to go tell myself how amazing ii look today 40 lbs over weight and all :)

... And that's the way the cookies crumbles :):)

PCOS

Anyone who has seen me around babies knows that ii absolutelii ADORE them. Anyone who has heard me talk about my future knows that ii want to have a lot of children. What most people don't know about me is tht ii have poly cystic ovary syndrome. I'm not gunna die or anything it just makes it extremely hard to have children. I found out that a lot the issues that ii have that some ppl think are due to laziness and such are actually an effect of my condition. For intance ii have gained a lot of weight in the past few months which is 55% my own doing but it has become increasingly hard for me to loose sed weight. I've known that ii had this condition since my freshman year of high school but as silly as it sounds ii never care before ii recently read a "fml"the other day after doing sum research ii found out why my skin was getting so dark and splotchy and why ii was breaking out so badly ( many more why's but no need to list them all). While reading up on the syndrome ii found out that ii quickly need to cut sum of my bad habits such as smoking and drinking. I already stopped smoking and am proud to say I haven't smoked since April (for diff reasons). I've decided to stop drinking as of today ... Shouldn't be a problem for me ii have freinds counting on me to actually stop so they're my motivation. Even though there's no cure for pcos it can be treated a number of different ways. At this time ii don't have the funds for most treatment so iill do wat ii can which is where my 40 pounds in 40 days challenge comes in. ii can help myself by gettin healthy bc ii know for a fact ii dnt eat healthy at all. Loosing the 20 pounds I've gained and a little more may not put me at "healthy weight" according to charts but its a start. Any how ii just felt like talking about that a little bc ii find it amazing that pcos affects 1 in every 10 teens but no one talks about it so ladies if u found this thru google just know that your not alone :). For more info on pcos and its treaments go to the link ii have attached( ii think its attache =x) and educated yourself dnt leave it ALL in the hands of drs.

... And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

(Jus in case ii didn't post the link here it is http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/pcosinfo.html )

I am Mr. Cooper and I support this diet

So last night ii was talking to mommy and ii told her I'm challenging myself to a 40 lbs in 40 days challenge starting on the 25th of aug ( today ) well normally mommy is atleast 75% supportive in my endevours but my father eeehhhhh not suh much. Like my self my father is very stubborn and feels his way is always the right way but today ii was delivered the shock of my life. I asked daddy to go to the store and buy me a salad ( he started arguin about how the BROWN lettuce in my fridge was fine ... Umm no ) so he leaves with my little sister and comes back wit mc.don.alds bags but shocks me when he holds up a path.mark bag full of fruits and veggies and GREEN lettuce (yayyyy daddy) he then goes ii support ur diet and walks away. This may seem like nothin but for my father this a large step and it jus makes me smile on the inside to know that ii have his support in something :) awww ii love you daddy

Now as ii sit here and munch on my salad chock full o' veggies I'm gunna imagine all the beautiful cows and chickens sayin thank you for not eating me lol
... And that's the way the cookie crumbles ( or the salad crunchesfor the next 40 days atleast) :):).

Cuz its like that ... and thats the way it is

So ... Howdy ya'll lol iidk ii just didn't really feel like sayin hi or wassup or ne thing like that but yea.
Welcome to my blog. This isn't my first time with one but its going to be my first time actually going through with it. Ill start by explaining my reasons for making this particular blog.


Well for starters I'm a very ... observant person. And sometimes ii feel a particular way about the things ii ...observe. So just as a disclaimer this blog can and will be about any and everything that ii feel like talking about. I'll go from post that will make you histerically laugh to post that will start heated debates because ...well ii feel like it. O another disclaimer anything thing ii say is strictly my opinion anyone is welcome to debate it (infact ii encourage it ii love that) but please be respectful because the second you come outta line you will feel my wrath. But enough explanations about the blog let's get to know the she that is me ! =D
I'm a 19 year old female from greater NY I'm of jamaican descent (as well as others but ii identify mostly with my jamaican fam). I am very opinionated and ii kinda dance to the beat of my own drum ... Tht doesn't mean tht ii dnt sample from other ppl ii just know how to make something my own . I'm a pastors child ii grew up in a "complete" family ( no horror stories over here) I've always been very loved by both of my parents no abuse or anything like that that from them . I'm the oldest of 3 children my monkey sibling are 13 and 8 (my little sister turn 8 yesterday Happy Belated Kaila). I may not always be the best role model for my siblings but dammit ii do try . Ummmmm ...oooo my family is MY WORLD ii honestly have no clue what ii would do without them my family to me is more than my household. It stems from my bestest freinds in the whole wide world Shanneka and Christine to my cousins ( peep my cousins blog ilovehimlikeafatkidlovescake.blogspot.com). To my grandmothers. And so on and so forth ... Point blank I'd kill for them no questions asked. O and Day 26 ii wouldnt be a real uber fan if ii didn't mention my love for them ( ii <3 u willie !!!!!!!). Um thatz all for now on the about me /my blog tip soo toodles
... And that's the way the cookie crumbles :):)